I AM

"I Am. I am not Chad. That was a name given to me after I already was. But after a while, I became so identified with Chad that I forgot that I was. All of my efforts went to the cultivation of Chad. I wanted people to like Chad. I wanted people to be impressed with Chad. I wanted Chad to be special. However, I was never satisfied with Chad. He was not handsome enough, rich enough, famous enough, smart enough, or just enough period. 

 

Then one day I realized that I was not Chad. Chad was not original to me. I discovered, in prayer and meditation, that I was much greater than this ego called Chad. I remembered who I was (and AM) prior to the dream of Chad. Then all of the stress and anxiety of building up this Chad persona was lifted. I was free. Free to be. Free to love unconditionally. Free to forgive."

 

-Chad

 

In this body I play several different roles.    I play a father;  I play a husband;  I play a software developer;  I play an adjunct college professor;  I play a hip-hop artist;  I play a spiritual activist.  I play a mindfulness coach; and the list goes on.    

 

In the winter of 2009, after reading the first few pages of "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle, I found myself sitting by the river in complete bliss every single day.  My "life" was no longer my concern.  There was no future or past.  Everything was brand new.  I would just stare at a tree as if I had never seen one in my life.  There was no worry, fear, stress, guilt or sense of lack.  Time literally stood still.  The constant dialogue in my head was muted.  Everything was silent.  My Being was still.  I was at rest.

 

My blissful walks to the river lasted about a year.  I would like to say that it was all smooth sailing from there.  But during this time there was days of Heaven and days of Hell.   There were moments when I cried tears of joy, and other moments when I cried tears of frustration and confusion.    I meditated (or sat in the stillness) and read copious amounts of spiritual material.  One book led to another, and to another and so on.  I yearned for a "spiritual teacher" that I could talk to and ask my deepest questions, but I never found one.  Then, one day I stumbled across Mooji on Youtube.  There was a simplicity in the way he articulated truth that seemed to clarify my Seeing.  Over and over Mooji would ask the same question during Satsang, "Can the seer be seen?"  This question caused me to patiently and silenty focus on my inner alter until I found rest.  I began to identify with that silent Awareness.

 

I watched hours upon hours of Satsang on Youtube and listened to it while I worked.  Those Mooji videos held my hand and walked me home.  I had many teachers during my time of "awakening."  I dove deep into A Course In Miracles.  I read all of Eckhart Tolle's materials several times over.  I also read a lot of Deepak Chopra, Don Miguel Ruiz, and many more with names no one would recognize.  However, Mooji brought an end to my "spiritual journey."  Like the saying goes, "Once you get the message, hang up the phone."  Mooji helped me to finally get the message.  The journey was finally over.

 

I can't say that it was a day in particular.  It was more like a, "next thing you know," type of thing.  The dust had settled.  The confusion subsided.  I no longer identified with my mind movement.  The silence took me over.  My seeing was made clear.  All questions have been removed.  I am one with the Intelligence that has me here.  There IS NO SEPARATION.  

 

I started teaching mindfulness workshops at the Mather Community Campus for Volunteers of America in 2010.  At the time, I had never heard of mindfulness training or Satsang.  I was just teaching from direct experience.  I have no script or outline.  I just get still (or focus on the present moment) and the teaching comes.  These workshops have been held weekly since late 2010 and continue to this day.  

 

After a while, a Mather graduate asked me to come facilitate a workshop at Pathways Recovery, a detox facility she worked for.  The staff at Pathways got such positive feedback from the participants that they asked me to come back on a weekly basis!  This has been an amazing experience.  My goal, in these particular workshops, is to help the workshop participants to see their own guiltlessness for at least one moment.  If they can rest (effortlessly rest with a quiet mind) and have a sense that all is well during the course of the workshop, if even momentarily, I have done my job.  Many of these participants come to my other mindfulness workshops after their stay at Pathways.

 

In January of 2013, I started the Second Saturday Mindfulness Workshop.  This is a free, monthly workshop, that is open to the public.  In this workshop we discuss mindfulness techniques, go through a variety of mindfulness excercises, discuss the basics of meditation, and answer questions about self-inquiry and spirituality.  

 

This is my passion and purpose.  Thank you for taking the time to get to know more about me.